Confidence In Relationships

ConfidenceWouldn’t it be nice if yours was the last sales call anyone ever wanted to accept?   Wouldn’t it be great if your customers could really MEAN IT when they told the interrupter: “I’ve got everything taken care of?”

The most stand-out characteristic of a successful sales team in the new millennium is that they genuinely care about their customers’ time with friends and family, enjoying experiences that matter more than taking a phone call, reading an e-mail, sorting—not even opening— junk mail or responding to a text. They understand that production numbers are a product of relationships, not the other way around. Build deeper, trusting relationships and earning a decent living will never be a problem.

It would be foolish to think that everyone appreciates this philosophy, or that “those kinds of salespeople” get along with everyone. Comedian Steven Wright once said: “You can’t have everything. Where would you PUT it?” We feel the same way about people: We can’t serve everyone. How would we DO it? No one is so naïve as to think serving everyone is possible, so how do we determine who we are compatible with? Relationships. Getting to know people. Being introduced through mutual connections. Building communities. Generating thoughtful dialogue. Reaching out. Serving.

We aren’t ignorant, either. Change is hard. People on both sides of the table resist it. “But I like the way it’s always been done” is code for “I don’t want to try something new”. When people drive to the car dealership with their worn out trade-in, they KNOW the process. How many would honestly say they LIKE it? Not many. But they know (or think) it’s never going to change, so they deal with it.

Many businesses have done marketing and sales the same way for decades. Prospects used to get calls from telemarketers or door-to-door salespeople offering a variety of products and services several times a week.  Then, on June 27, 2003, the National Do-Not-Call Registry was introduced in the United States. Why? Because people apparently didn’t like being called at home during dinner to be sold something…books, magazines, cookware, vacuums, whatever. What was the result?  You guessed it. All of the calls formerly directed to the people who signed up for DNC were redirected to those who didn’t, exponentially increasing their interruptions.  What was the next public reaction? (Hint: Cell phones.) People began disconnecting their land lines. “You can’t call me if I don’t have a phone number.” Don’t tell me I’m the only one who’s said this out loud. The people spoke with their wire cutters, but instead of reducing the amount of clutter, it resulted in even more of something else: JUNK MAIL.

“If you won’t let me talk to you on the phone, I’ll flood your mailbox. You’ll either call to tell me to stop or buy something so it stops.” The U.S. Postal Service became the distribution network for every mass marketer in the world. What’s your ratio of junk mail to important/personal correspondence on a given day? Mine is about 8:1. Some days I just trash the whole thing after the 5-second review while walking up the driveway. Like many others, I chose years ago to electronically opt-in to anything important:  Bills, newsletters, policy information, etc. Unless it’s a hand-written, personally-addressed card or letter, if it comes on paper its likely irrelevant.

The argument for telemarketing and direct mail has always been that they motivate people to act when they otherwise wouldn’t. If you live with the old mindset and refuse to change, you’re right. You’ve spent years being conditioned with external stimuli that influence every purchase decision you’ve ever made. Seeing a new car ad makes you want and believe you need a new car. Seeing a well-dressed Banana Republic model makes you think your wardrobe needs an upgrade. Getting a 0% offer in the mail makes you think your current rate is too high. All of these stimuli, all of these ads, and all of these interruptions are intensifying daily, yet hardly anyone does anything to stop them. Why is that?

The breaking point is on the horizon. It’s very close to being real. You can hear it in the checkout lines at your local grocery store. What’s your reaction when the person ahead of you in the Express Lane has 20 items instead of the maximum of TEN allowed, then has the audacity to pay with a CHECK?!?!? Odds are your response is something like this: “Are you kidding?!?!? I don’t have time for this!!!!”

Would that have been the response twenty years ago? Possibly. Would the emotion feeding it been as strong? Not likely. But twenty years ago we didn’t have SMARTPHONES or AMAZON or SNAPCHAT. We had attention to spare. Not anymore. What happens when you trap an animal in a corner in a way that increases their stress level (they sense danger)? If it’s a cat, it arches it’s back, hisses, and its claws come out. A dog bares its teeth, growls, and the hair stands up on its back.

The breaking point I’m referring to will generate the same response as the cat and dog, except in people. In our human environment, the danger isn’t physical or spatial…the threat is whatever distracts us from what we truly enjoy doing, namely by questioning the confidence we have in the important decisions we’ve made, both past and present.  So…What are we, as consumers, going to do differently after we scare away the perpetrator?   If we’re not actively reinforcing change in the way the marketing and sales world treats you each day, the perpetrator will always pose a threat to the time we spend enjoying the people, places and things that matter most.

Find a way to say, with confidence, “I’ve got it taken care of.” If you need help making that possible, contact me.  Even if I’m not the right fit, someone in my “know, like and trust network” might be.